Talking to the First Child About a Baby
The difference between talking with Henry about a baby when I was pregnant back in May and June (when he was ~17 months old) versus now (when he’s 21 months old) is drastic. Back then, he gave no indication that he understand what we were talking about at all. Now, he initiates conversations about the baby and adds his own thoughts.
The first thing he said about babies is that they “cry.” He sings “The Wheels on the Bus” at school, so he knows that babies go “wah, wah, wah.” He even does hand gestures to go with it. After a while, he added to the conversation that babies “poop.” A few days later, he added that they “pee.” Most recently, he’s added that they are “hungry.”
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, Sweet Henry.
We decided to start talking with Henry about the baby because it’s already such a part of our lives. We also want to give him ample time to adjust to the idea that a baby is coming. So far, he’s really excited about the idea. The other day we walked into a store, and he heard a baby crying. His eyes lit up and he started exclaiming, “Baby! Baby!” Oh, my sweet little boy.
We also talk honestly with him about what’s happening. For example, last week, he knew that we were going to the doctor to see if they baby was “okay” or “all gone.” I know not every family would make the same decision to talk about these kinds of issues with such a young child, but if something had been wrong, I would have wanted Henry to know why we were so upset and crying.
I decided to frame our first ultrasound picture and put it in Henry’s room. We had an extra IKEA frame left over from when we set up Henry’s weaning table at our old house. I turned the paper insert around and put a few dabs of BINGO paint on it. Voila!
We’re going in for another ultrasound this week for nuchal translucency screening. We opted not to do any genetic testing when I was pregnant with Henry, but this time we want to. I’m trying to release any and all stress associated with the uncertainty and waiting. I’m employing my mantra a lot: “Let it go.”
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4 Comments
ALICE
I actually loved the nt scan…. It's a very cute scan as they sort of make the little one squirm about with the doppler to get the measurements and that makes things feel so real. It's also a good stress reliever. I went into the anatomy scan much more relaxed because of it.
Anonymous
What a sweet boy! I'm starting to get the pregnancy itch again since my LO is about to be 1. On the other hand I'd like to get a few of my career goals in motion before the days of extreme exhaustion and feeling icky.
Congrats Sara! Henry is right- babies are wonderful!
Sara
Thank you for this post, Sara! Our little boy will probably be around Henry's age now when we start trying for baby #2, so it's wonderful to see how you and Matt have approached talking to Henry about your little one on the way!
Sarah
That's a beautiful mantra, one that I will do my best to have hanging around my head this winter. Thank you, Sara.