Purposeful Parenthood

Technology Rules for Purposeful Families

iPad rules for families

Matt and I used to have an iPad that we used for our family. Henry worked on ST Math at night after Tate went to bed, and the boys watched Netflix on the weekends. Since one of the boys dropped it and shattered it, we’ve been letting them use our laptops or phones instead. I’m feeling a real need to get them each an iPad. That way, they could both work on Lexia in my office in the afternoon before we leave school. It’s a tricky time because I’m trying to finish up my work. However, before bringing more technology into our house, I want to spend time thinking about how to establish technology rules for purposeful families.

Actually, now that I think about it, we should establish technology rules for our family within a Family Meeting. I shouldn’t singlehandedly write the rules. The boys need to take part in the creation of them.

To prepare for that meeting, I do think it’s useful for Matt and me to norm our expectations first.

How am I thinking about technology rules for purposeful families?

Be intentional about where they are stored.

Young brains are tempted by having an iPad next to them in their room. This means we should set up an intentional spot (outside the bedrooms) to store the iPads at night so they can recharge.

Think through acceptable usage.

The reason I want to get my 8 year-old and a 6-year old iPads is because I want to supplement their learning in a way that is better than what I could muster up the energy to offer them on a daily basis. This means the primary purpose is to do Lexia and ST Math. They can also use the iPads to watch approved Netflix shows on weekends. They should not use them for browsing the internet or playing games. We sometimes let the boys look at something on the internet. However, that should be done on our phones to ensure that we are nearby and paying attention to what’s going on. I would also be okay if the boys used their iPads to look up a set of directions or an image that they wanted to draw.

Matt and I are really going to have to norm on this one. I’ll probably talk to our therapist about it because I want to make sure I’m not being too strict.

Think through acceptable handling of the device.

Young children might not understand how high the stakes are with technology. Things like washing their hands before use, not eating around it, etc. will be important.

Agree on the rules before purchasing the device.

Thinking through all of this makes me realize that we have a lot of work to do. Matt and I need to norm on our expectations. Then we need to facilitate a conversation with the boys where we collectively work to name the iPad rules for our family.

Putting It All Together

Once I norm on all of this with Matt, we can facilitate a family conversation and fill in a contract together. Knowing what we hope to see represented will help. However, facilitating the conversation in a way that feels like we are generating guidelines together will feel more collaborative and empowering. I created this template to use. You’re welcome to download it and use it yourself for any device you introduce into your family.

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    In Conclusion

    I’m nervous to cross this threshold. It’s such a slippery slope! Screens are like “digital heroin.” Yet I do think our lives will feel easier if the boys can work on educational programs in my office after school. I think the key is generating iPad rules for purposeful families. I don’t personally believe it’s reasonable to keep technology out of the house. At least we can intentional about it!

    2 Comments

    • Anna

      I appreciate your exploration here. I am also weighing the screen/technology question with my newly 8-year-old. We did get her a laptop over the holidays, and because it requires more of a set-up than a tablet, for some reason it seems easier to monitor the screen time (and she’s less addicted to it). But I hear you on iPads. They generally last a long time, and they can be great learning tools. We are all stumbling to raise thoughtful digital natives together!

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