How to Help a Grieving Friend from a Distance

Friends of ours just suffered a terrible loss in their lives. I know Matt and I need to do something. However, it’s always hard to know how to help a grieving friend from a distance. I don’t want to say something that trivializes their loss. Nor do I want to stay silent. It’s particularly difficult because they live across the country. We can’t show up and help in ordinary ways.

I turned to these sources below for ideas. The first piece is my favorite:

• How to Help a Grieving Friend: 11 Things to Do When You’re Not Sure What to Do

Above all, show your love. Show up. Say something. Do something. Be willing to stand beside the gaping hole that has opened in your friend’s life, without flinching or turning away. Be love. Love is the thing that lasts.

Megan Devine

These sites were also helpful for figuring out how to help a grieving friend:

• 21 Ways to Help Someone You Love Through Grief
• 13 Awkward (But Useful) Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend

This quote also stuck a deep chord with me:

As it turns out, grief lasts longer than sympathy — way longer.

Jodi Whitsitt

It makes me wonder if we should reach out at least once a month for the first year and then annually for a couple years. We would reach out to let them know we haven’t forgotten. We can wait and see if that feels appropriate at the time.

For now, we are going to send a plant from The Sill and a book that was mentioned in one of the articles, along with the best words we can piece together.