Growth Mindset: Help Kids Feel Okay about Hard Things
We are still going through the Therapeutic Assessment process with Henry. It looks like he may have ADHD. Further, he may have a learning disability. He is struggling so much with spelling in particular. He can’t seem to memorize sight words, no matter how much we practice. In the meantime, we are working on building a growth mindset. Specifically, we are helping him feel proud of the things he is good at. Simultaneously, we are helping him see that the list of things that is hard for him is small in comparison.
He has been doing Lexia regularly, and I really like the program. It takes a sequential and systematic approach to phonics instruction. Henry just can’t get through the sight word section. It’s causing immense frustration. Finally, I decided to make him a list of the sight words. I let him look at the list and type them into the program. He felt like it was cheating. I explained that it’s just a little extra help and that he should keep his list with him when he needs to write. He said his teacher wouldn’t let him have it. I said that we could talk to her about it, and his whole body seemed to get lighter.
It made me realize the heavy weight that little guy is carrying on his shoulders. I had the idea to start a list of all the things he is good at. We started the list before bed and then continued adding to it verbally as we were lying next to each other at bedtime.
Henry’s List of Strengths
- Building Legos
- Making origami
- Swimming
- Doing headstands
- Shooting nerf guns
- Making eggs
- Drawing
- Rollerblading
- Fishing
- Bike riding
- Making spears
- Starting fires
- Identifying edible plans
His list of things that are hard for him (right now) is short in comparison.
Growth Mindset: Things that Are Hard for Henry Right Now
- Remembering to ask consent before shooting at someone with a nerf gun
- Spelling
I think making these two lists was good for both of us. For Henry, he felt really proud of all the strengths on his list. And everything on the strengths list seemed to make the other list not so scary/daunting. For me, it was a reminder that I have a perpetual problem of focusing 90% of my energy on the 10% of things that is wrong. I’m working on it (while also focusing on the things that I’m doing right!).
2 Comments
Sarah
I do a lot of work on growth mindset every year but this post got me thinking. I’m going to have parents write a list of things that their child is good at and have it at school. This can serve as a great resource during those times a child is feeling frustrated and showing a closed mindset about whatever is challenging them.
Sara Cotner
I love that idea, Sarah! The children who struggle the most tend to be the ones with whom educators struggle to connect. They need more love/connection but they have habits and behaviors that tend to repel love/connection. Starting with a list of what a child is good at (in addition to things they like and are interested in) is a really helpful start! In fact, I think I will e-mail Henry and Tate’s teachers with this kind of list now!