Skip the Small Talk: Questions to Go Deeper

My Myers-Briggs type means I don’t like small talk. A dear friend of mine who knows this about me recently asked what my go-to-questions are to help me skip the small talk. I thought I would share them here in case anyone else is interested!

My go-to’s are:

• What are you most excited about in your life right now?
• What are you most worried about in your life right now? 

Honestly, those two questions are usually enough to get a good conversation going! I recommend starting with the first one. Even that question can startle people because it’s not as surface as things people usually talk about.

However, both questions lead to great follow-up questions and deep conversation.

When I’m re-connecting with friends on the phone, I usually use: “What is your high and low?” It can make even a 5-minute conversation feel profound and intimate! 

Other Questions to Skip the Small Talk

• Have you ready any good books lately?
• Have you seen any good movies lately?
• What do you like to do in your free time?
• What’s your story?

Apparently I use questions like these on my children, too. Henry has started asking me deep questions. He usually pulls them out when we are lying next to each other before bed. He’ll ask, “What are you scared of?” “What did you like most about our vacation?” It’s really sweet!

What about you? Do you have any go-to questions that you like to use to spark conversation?