Birthday Rituals: What we still do
It has been so fascinating to watch how our children interact with birthday rituals over the years. At 10 years old, Henry is in such a sweet spot! (Thanks to this approach to parenting, our relationship has been much, much stronger.)
A couple days before his birthday, I told him I would be hanging his birthday banner and pictures soon. He asked, “Why haven’t you done it already?” I clarified, “Are you wishing they were already up?” He then responded with an emphatic yes. It was so heart-warming.
Then, a day before his birthday, he asked, “Can we light my candle now?”
So we all gathered around the table. We have a candle holder with nine slots for tea candles. Each year, we light the number of candles that corresponds to their age. This year, Henry only had a single candle. We used a colored candle to represent 10. From ages 11 to 18, we will use the colored candle plus white ones. I read him his letter and then he blew out the candles.
Then Henry picked out a special birthday activity: laser tag. So we showed up at 10am—right when it opened! We were the only people playing laser tag, which was so fun.
And, once again, Henry is going to pick Golden Corral as his top meal choice. I think he has been picking Golden Corral for as long as I can remember? (And I’m not sure how he even learned about Golden Corral in the first place. Maybe from my mom?)
Sadly, Henry’s birthday party had to get rescheduled due to rain. But that’s okay. We managed to find new camping sites next week. So now he gets a whole week to celebrate with birthday rituals!
4 Comments
Heather
I love the dialog you had with your son regarding the banner. My nine year old sounds very simliar to your Henry. Parenting feels extra challenging often. I looked up the book you recommended, but unfortunately it’s not on Audible which is the only way I find reading self-help materials works for me.
Sara Cotner
I find that the parenting coaching makes all the difference when it comes to helping me internalize and understand the approach. It has been such a gift to our family!
Jami Bright
Hi Sara! Happy Birthday to you both! I used to follow your blog pretty regularily but since I had babies 6 years ago I haven’t had a single moment for such a luxury as browsing the internet! I remeber when Henry was born, your birth post, I remeber your little house with your little mobile chicken coop, and Hank! And your 2,000 dollar wedding! And now wer’re talking about menopause?! Time moves so strangley. Although funnily enough I was just thinking about taking to my doctor about it beacuse I know nothing. Thanks for the some starting resources.
Remeber those little birthday pictures on your chair you used to take? Do you still? We started and still do that with our daughters. I hope you are all well and getting through this year with everything you need.
Much Love,
Jami Bright
Sara Cotner
It’s going so fast, Jami! (And, also, I didn’t get married until I was 30 and had my last child at 35, so that’s part of it!). I’m so glad we are reconnected. To answer your question, I only did those chair photos for the first year of Henry’s life. Now I just print 10 or so photos from every year to add to their baby book. Let me know if your doctor shares anything interesting! Sending well wishes your way…