Family Gap Year Post #24: The Big Island—Our Adventures (Aug-Oct, Part 1)

One Sunday afternoon, we pulled off the main road and followed a smaller winding road into a neighborhood. We parked where the road dead-ended, got out, and clambered down the forested trail.

We had found an old sugar mill that had been converted into a beach and river park. There was a sign that read: “Don’t change Hawai’i; let Hawai’i change you.”

Hawai’i sure has changed us!

These past 2.5 months on the Big Island have been life changing and life clarifying. In so many ways. How can I even begin to enumerate them all?

My Children’s Courage Has Blossomed (and Our Has, Too!)

This trip has pushed my children out of their comfort zones, and they have handled it with such grace and courage.

Henry enrolled in a micro-school, and had to show up as a new student after the school year had already started.

Both he and Tate attended Fall Break camps in the community (one focused on art and one focused on STEM).

The boys facilitated a Zoom call with their families and friends to showcase a film they produced together.

Henry joined a local fencing club and a diving club and learned the dynamics of a new group and a new sport very seamlessly.

Each week, we would show up at a local homeschool gathering and they would run off to frolic with different children on a playground or in an ocean. They also volunteered on a farm and learned to care for the sheep.

They have jumped off of rocks and bridges into the ocean and into waterfalls. They have ventured into ravenous Hawaiian waves without an adult. They have boogie boarded and snorkeled. We went 100 feet under the surface of the ocean on a submarine. They have practiced driving on the backroads of our rural neighborhood. They rollerbladed and biked more than a mile on their own to get to our friends’ house. They tried spam masubi.

Henry flew across the ocean from on his own so he could visit his friends in Austin.

All of us worked with an Occupational Therapist to learn new strategies for anger management and taking care of our nervous systems.

I signed up to take the GRE, even though I have forgotten nearly everything I learned in high school and college math. Also, I got comfortable asking any stranger for their phone number, and agreed to be a wedding coordinator for a new friend. Matt went to a stranger’s house to watch a Rugby game and flew to Los Angeles to photograph a national rugby tournament.

My Children’s Creativity Has Flourished

The boys come up with ideas constantly, and we have more time and capacity to respond and support them. They produced a film together and published a picture book about the evolution of meeps (with hand-drawn illustrations). Tate learned 3D animation and video game design. They’ve made boats and ladders in the river and apartment complexes for lizards. Tate fills his sketchbooks with comics, notes about governments he is designing, ID cards, and stories. He makes mini-weapons out of materials found around the house. The boys cook things like rice krispy treats and lemonade using recipes from library books. They have taken many classes at the craft store, and Henry learned how to make UV resin jewelry.

We Have More Clarity About What We Want When We Settle Down Again

I keep a running list of what kind of life we want when we settle down. All of us are constantly adding to it!

I want spaciousness in my life. I want the space to take care of myself as my body gets deeper into perimenopause. And I want the space to take care of my children as they head into adolescence. I didn’t have this space for the first half of my children’s lives while launching a non-profit organization, but I want it for the second half.

But I also want to keep making a difference in the world and continue my work with Montessori For All. Hawai’i has given me time and space to figure out how to balance all of these things.

And we know we need community. We are so grateful for the community we have built here—three birthday parties, a wedding, and at least one playdate a week in the span of 2.5 months!

Tate and I have also been learning more about climate change and sustainable agriculture. We care a lot about taking care of the land and our bodies and are eager to start growing as much of our own food as we can.

We need space in our home to take care of our nervous systems—we need activities like ping pong and air hockey. We want a trampoline and a swing. We want to build a tree house and install a zip line. We need a quiet, calm-down area for self-soothing.

And we have so much clarity about what the boys need from their schools. (And we have learned that we are not a homeschooling family!).

Adventures

The Big Island has some amazing adventures!

• Antics Pizza & Ramen (with video games!)
• Kula Shave Ice: the best on all four major islands (be sure to get it with the ice-cream inside)
• Richardson’s Beach: there’s beach swimming, tide pools with turtles, and jumping off lava rock into the ocean
• Coconut Island: protected area for swimming and an area for jumping into the ocean
• Reed’s Bay: fun rope swing!
• Honoli’i Beach: big waves for surfing and boogie boarding + a calm, refreshing waterfall river
• Onomea Country Market & Cafe: Tasty stuff + great view of the ocean from the picnic tables
• Submarine Tour in Kona: eat lunch at the poolside cafe ($8 hamburgers for the kids)
• Beach 69 in Kona (nice shade and crystal clear water)
• Kaumana Caves
• Hilo Public Library: open air courtyard!
• Craft Classes at Ben Franklin’s: super-affordable and kind instructors
• Waimea Farmer’s Market at the Parker School
• Hilo Palace Theater: quirky shows
• Honomu Goat Farm: pet the goats for free (and don’t forget to try the world’s best caramels!)

Next Time

I wish we would’ve joined the Hilo Sailing Club. It’s super-affordable and we could’ve learned how to sail twice a month.

But other than that, I can’t think of anything else I would’ve changed! I loved staying in rural Hawai’i in the small town of Pepe’ekeo. It was only 15-20 minutes outside of Hilo. I had a gorgeous daily walk with an ocean view. We stayed through three full moons and they were absolutely stunning.

Lessons Learned

1. If you are trying to make more friends, start asking for people’s phone numbers. It worked like magic to help us make friends quickly on the Big Island! Some people stopped texting with us and our connection withered but most people became our friends.
2. Everyone in our family has sensitive nervous systems. We have to proactively take care of ourselves (sleep, healthy food, exercise, and fun) and we need strategies to calm ourselves when we are activated.
3. Having plenty of prep space in a kitchen matters to us. It was so tough living in an AirBnb with no counter space for food prep! I am counting down the days when I can make bread from ancient grains and start preserving tomatoes from our garden—with a lot of counter space!
4. We want to live in a good gardening climate. Our access to fresh vegetables has felt really limited for the past 2.5 months. Tropical fruits grow really well here, but we have struggled to find affordable, fresh vegetables.
5. We want to live in a city with an affordable cost of living. Hawai’i is so expensive and so much of our money goes toward food! It’s also really hard living on an island. It feels so cut-off and vulnerable.

Stay tuned for next week’s post when I talk about our Family Dynamic. In the meantime, you can see daily update on Instagram or weekly updates in my newsletter!