Family Gap Year Post #31: Settling into the Tasman Region of Aotearoa New Zealand (Jan-Apr)

Description

We lived in Richmond, New Zealand for three months. Richmond is approximately 15 minutes away from Nelson at the north of the South Island. We picked this area because it reportedly has some of the best weather in the whole country (lots of sunshine!). It also has easy access to the ocean and mountains.

We ended up in Richmond—a suburb of Nelson—because the housing was more affordable (although still expensive). We specifically wanted to be near a larger city, so the boys would have access to activities like fencing and ninja classes.

Knowing the area better now, we might have picked to live in Motueka, which is a rural area about 30 minutes beyond Richmond, and enrolled our children in a tiny country school.

But we had a great time living in the walkable and family-friendly area of Richmond!

Highs

It was so nice to settle in for some “slow travel” after our month-long road trip! Right away, I went to Kmart and purchased toys and games for the boys, since we had only been traveling with carry-on suitcases for most of the year.

On our very first night in town, we met up with an awesome family from Canada. I had connected with Maria via Facebook, and she took us to a Thai restaurant on the ocean that ended up being one of our all-time favorites.

Right away, the boys started a week of sailing camp at the local yacht club.

The next week, they started school! Because Matt and I have work visas in New Zealand, we were able to enroll our children in local schools without any issues.

Enrolling our boys in full-time school (9am-3pm every day) brought such a sense of normalcy and calm to our lives. The boys made so many friends! Also, they could walk to and from school, and they could ride their bikes to the school playground on the weekends and evenings.

They got to experience very new things—like swimming twice a week at school, participating in mandatory swimming competitions, competing in mandatory triathlons, enjoying “tea time” every day, soaking up more recess time outside, and taking a cooking elective.

Several of their friends would play at our house during the evenings and on the weekends. Also, Henry hosted a water-balloon fight party for his entire class. I was invited to join a book club and even hosted a meeting at our rental house!

Speaking of our rental house, it was so expensive but worth it because we could spread out. In Hawai’i and Australia, we crammed ourselves into 1- or 2-bedroom homes. Our Richmond home had 4 bedrooms! And it had so much historic charm.

Once a week, Henry was allowed to miss regular school and attend a STEM program. He loved it! And we ended up going to his teacher’s historical reenactment. I love when my children get to spend time with quirky adults!

Some of our favorite adventures in the area:

• Rabbit Island: A huge, sparcely populated beach with a forest!
• Anatoki Salmon Farm: Such an affordable and fun experience!
• Centre of New Zealand Hike
• Toad Hall: My most favorite restaurant and store in all of the South Island
• Daily walks through the forest in the Jimmy Lee Reserve
• Trampolining at Jump In Nelson
• The wave pool at Richmond Aquatic Centre
• Alpaca tour at Five Gates Farm
• Swimming hole at Hackett Track
• Annual Muddy Buddy Run at the Tasman School
• Nelson Farmer’s Market
• Nahm Restaurant
• Silky Otter Movie Theater

Lows

The difficult meltdowns continued into this part of the trip, but they became much less frequent toward the end. As part of my New Year’s intentions, I committed to 1) regularly meeting with a trauma specialist to continue to unpack my childhood trauma 2) regularly meeting with a leadership coach 3) meeting with a parenting coach 4) seeking out a full set of brain balancing supplements 5) listening to books that would strengthen my parenting and 6) attending a virtual parenting class.

I would like to think that all of my next steps helped stabilize our family! It was probably also connected to the fact that the boys were back in school and had friends.

Lessons Learned

1. Urban Homestead: I want to build an urban homestead with gardening, food preservation, from-scratch cooking, goats, chickens, ducks, solar panels, bees, and rainwater collection. The tour at Five Gates Farm made my vision so clear.
2. Slow Living: I want to spend less time in front of a screen and more time cooking healthy food from scratch, walking outside, talking with my kids while they eat an afternoon snack, dancing to Madonna, and reading out loud to the boys.
3. Pod School: Henry and I want to start a pod school together to reimagine how education is done. He’s done really well at a variety of schools this year, but we both think he will flourish within a pod school environment for middle and high school.
4. Collaborative Problem-Solving: What an amazing way to raise children! Ross Greene’s book is so good, and Matt and I are trying to apply this approach with our family.
5. Critical Questions: I’m keeping these two things at the forefront of my mind as I parent—What are my children’s undeveloped skills? Are Matt and I strong at those skills ourselves? If not, are we actively working on getting stronger at them? How can we help our children develop those skills? Are they open to explicit conversation about these areas for growth? If not, is it possible to help them develop those skills indirectly? Or do we need to engage the help of other adults/resources/programs to help them learn those skills? and UNMET NEEDS: What are my children’s core needs—physically, emotionally, socially, and mentally? Which of their needs are getting met consistently? Which needs are not getting met? What are my core needs and are those being met?
6. Daily Walk: I need to walk outside for an hour every single day. It grounds my mind and nourishes my body.
7. Wounded Inner Children: My inner wounded children feel a lot of helplessness and worthiness, and those two feelings can wreak havoc in my life. I want to keep leaning in and listening to their past experiences to help them work through them and hopefully release them.
8. Loving Friends Like Family: We miss our two year-old “niece” from Hilo! When she turns 5, her parents are going to put her on a direct flight to Austin to come spend time with us. She says she misses “her boys.”