Using Systems to Reduce Holiday Stress

I want to immerse myself in joy during the holiday season—not stress! And yet “joy” for me means hosting a lot of events and shepherding our family through lots of rituals. In order to make both things true, I’ve had to get into the habit of using systems to reduce holiday stress!

Here’s a partial list of the kinds of things we have going on during the holidays:

• We host a Halloween party.
• We host an October Saturday Supper.
• We host a Friendsgiving celebration.
• We celebrate Matt’s birthday right around Thanksgiving.
• We host a Fondue Fun party around Christmas.
• We travel to see my family at Thanksgiving.
• We travel to see Matt’s family at Christmas.
• We do more than 20 different activities in the days leading up to Christmas (like making gingerbread houses or drinking hot chocolate).
• We send holiday cards.

There’s a lot happening in a relatively short amount of time! And all of that is on top of the regular life stress of work, laundry, meal planning, birthday parties, bed times, doctors’ appointments, haircuts, etc.

To make it as stress-free as possible, I find myself systematizing as much as humanely possible.

In this recent podcast episode, Kendra encourages us to look at the things on our list and categorize them as:

1. Make it matter
2. Make is simpler
3. Let it go

I personally find myself wanting to designate certain things as #1 AND #2. I’m constantly looking for ways to make things meaningful and easier.

For example, I follow a formula for our Friendsgiving celebration every year.

1. I send out the same email every Fall Equinox asking folks to Save-the-Date. Then I copy/paste the same emails from previous years again to remind them one month before Friendsgiving and one week before.
2. I use the same template to ask folks to sign up for what they want to contribute to the potluck.
3. Unless I’m feeling particularly inspired, I sign up to contribute the same things to the potluck each year!
4. I order the same table, chairs, and bounce house from the same party rental place.
5. We use disposable dishware.
6. I use the same table cloths on my tables and the same glass jars to set up the same greenery and the same pine cones from our backyard.

For me personally, the magic is in the event itself. I love gathering in the forest and eating a shared meal at a long table under cafe lights. So I try to make everything else as easy as possible.

Another system I find myself using is the same holiday card template every single year. I choose to do holiday cards because I like receiving them, and I feel like they are a non-social media way of keeping up with others’ lives. I also like the process of sitting down and encapsulating the past year of my life. It’s a little layer of accountability to make sure I’m “writing” the kind of life I want for myself. But I found a template I like, and I stick with it every single year. It’s not original but it works!

One really meaningful ritual in our life is our “Christmas Countdown.” We do little festive activities in the days leading up to Christmas. To make it easier, our list of activities largely stays the same year over year. (I do make adjustments as the boys get older.) We have a supply list that I reference every year and I order those supplies at the end of November so they are ready for December. I order everything all at once so we aren’t scrambling for supplies when we want to do an activity.

And speaking of lists, I keep my holiday to do list largely the same every single year. So then I switch into execution mode to knock these things off my list while freeing up most of my capacity and brain space to immerse myself in the moment and feel joy.

What helps you when it comes to using systems to reduce holiday stress? What works for you?