Rituals to Honor a Loved One

My friend was talking to me about the upcoming anniversary of her mother’s death and mentioning that it was always such a hard time of the year for her. She explained that she feels like she might want to enact some kind of ritual but doesn’t really have the capacity to think about it. I volunteered to generate a list to share with her, and here’s what I came up with. I would love any ideas you have to add!

• Write a letter to your mom
  about the past year (alternatively, you could record yourself talking–or
  just talk to a picture without recording–if it would feel more natural
  and efficient to talk)

• Host a call with multiple
  people who loved your mom; each person could go around and share one
  memory (alternatively, this could be done over e-mail if it’s too painful
  to talk)

• Take a relaxing, calm, and
  quiet bath and light a candle for each of the things you miss about your
  mom; state each one out loud as you light the candle. Then close your eyes
  and think about your mother.

• Have a What Would Mom Do Day.
  Spend time doing the things your mom liked to do  and try to see them and enjoy them
  through your mother’s eyes

• Plant something new each year
  in honor of your mother and watch each plant or tree give life to the
  world each year on behalf of your mother. This could be an outdoor plant
  or an indoor one. 

• Prepare or pick up a special
  meal or a food item that had special meaning to you and your mom. Prepare
  it and eat It by yourself, while thinking about your mother.

• Coordinate an act of service
  in honor of your mother’s gift to the world: prepare sack lunches and
  deliver them to homeless people, volunteer in a soup kitchen, purchase
  quality books from second-hand shops and deliver them to a school.

• Purchase
  something new for your home that will remind you of your mother all
  year: a bird feeder, a beautiful frame, a vase, pretty refrigerator
  magnets, new cloth napkins, coasters, etc. This could be combined with
  Option 1 or 2 so that you get yourself thinking deeply about your mother
  and then decide what to add to your home to honor her.