Being the Change

How White Privilege Works: A Critique of Time Magazine

Image from Time Magazine about how effective parenting leads to successful children. Unfortunately, there's no mention of white privilege.
Image courtesy of Time Magazine

I read Time Magazine article: “I Raised Two CEOs and a Doctor. These Are My Secrets to Parenting Successful Children.” because I love parenting articles. I appreciated the author’s emphasis on the concepts of trust, respect, independence, collaboration, and kindness. Some of the anecdotes remind me of what I try to do in our Montessori home. However, I have not been able to stop thinking about how the author made no mention of the role that white privilege plays in our lives.

Summary of the Article

The author explains that her parenting led to the success of her grown-up daughters. One is the co-founder of 23andme, one is the CEO of YouTube, and one is a professor at UCSF. I have no doubt that the author’s parenting style helped equip her daughters with self-confidence and a passion to make the world better. But those of us with white skin cannot talk about our rise to success without mentioning white privilege.

This particular situation is complicated because the Wojcickis are Jewish. Anti-Semitism is a significant form of oppression and is thriving in America. But those of us with white skin cannot continue to play into the national narrative that anyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps if they just work hard enough.

This article explains that the author did, in fact, pull herself out of poverty after her parents immigrated to the U.S. But the truth is, if your skin is white in America, it’s a lot easier to pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

Personal Story

My own story is a case in point. My mother gave birth to me in San Diego after realizing that my father didn’t want to have anything to do with me. She was on welfare when I was born. Eventually, she went on to work in fast food restaurants throughout my childhood.

Like the author, I realized that education was my way into a life with more choice and opportunity. I worked hard my entire life, so that I could make a different kind of life for myself. And I did. I am now the CEO/Executive Director of an organization with an annual budget in the multi-millions.

It is true that I have worked my butt off and have made countless sacrifices. But it is also true that I have benefitted from white privilege. White privilege is everywhere, and we cannot escape from it.

What is white privilege?

White privilege is a lot of things, including getting to move about in the world as “the norm.” Peggy McIntosh wrote about the “invisible backpack.” She said:

“I have come to se white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets which I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was ‘meant’ to remain oblivious.

White privilege is like an invisible weightless backpack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools and blank checks.

Peggy McIntosh

White privilege starts prenatally. The CDC reports that Black women are 3 to 4 times more likely to die during childbirth than white women. Then you have segregated cities with higher-performing schools in the more affluent areas with more resources. Those of us with white skin do not have to worry about our lives being at risk to the same degree. We can walk through neighborhoods with a hoodie on. We can get pulled over by a cop for a routine traffic stop without worrying about losing our lives.

White privilege is a “built-in advantage.” An Australian study illuminates how white privilege can emerge in day-to-day interactions—frequent reminders that one is not worthy of the same benefit of the doubt given to others. In the experiment, people of different racial and ethnic identities tried to board public buses, telling the driver they didn’t have enough money to pay for the ride. Researchers documented more than 1,500 attempts. The end results showed that bus drivers allowed white people to stay on the bus 72 percent of the time. For black people, the frequency was only 36 percent of the time.

None of this means that white people don’t deserve what they work hard for, but it does mean we have to frequently stop and acknowledge that the color of our skin automatically makes a lot of things easier for us, even when they are hard. It means we have to constantly look for ways and opportunities to dismantle racism. We have to actively create more opportunity and equity for all. The fact that we can choose whether or not to do this work is—again—white privilege.

8 Comments

  • Nora

    I would also invite you to unpack your own invisible backpack. White privilege shows up as specific privileges: the school district you grew up in, sources of funds for college, etc, etc, etc. I noticed you shared specifics about your own journey out of poverty, but not about the sources of your own privilege. The bootstraps narrative is alluring and most of us have one buried somewhere in our family history. Part of undoing white privilege is sharing the stories of our own specific privileges as white people, and making the invisible visible. I really appreciate that you posted on this topic.

    • Sara Cotner

      You’re right, Nora! I didn’t go far enough in the post. My examples of benefitting from white privilege are too numerous to count. Even though my mom didn’t graduate from college, my grandparents did, and they were a steady presence in my life. They also helped pay for some of my college each year. I frequently feel like I’m given the benefit of the doubt as a white woman. Vendors trust me if I tell them I lost my ticket for example, no one ever suspects me of criminal activity, etc. I’m frequently tasked with raising money for work, and I’m frequently pitching the vision to people who look just like me. I see myself reflected over and over in mass media, and so much of the history I learned in school highlighted the contributions of my ancestors. I also benefit as a cis-gender, heterosexual. I never get funny looks when I’m holding my partner’s hand, no one ever confuses my gender. My appearance doesn’t visibly make people uncertain or uncomfortable. Then there’s the privilege I experience as able-bodied. Everything is designed to accommodate me. I never have to worry about how to get somewhere. I’ll keep reflecting on more examples. Thanks, Nora!

  • Jennifer Howard

    Sara, I have been following you for about -oh my- over 10 years now. My husband and I relied heavily on your model for a 2000 dollar wedding and financed it all ourselves while working to put ourselves through school. I really appreciate how self reflective your posts are. I too come from a poor-but-privileged background and I, too, am interested in dismantling white supremacy. Thank you for writing posts like this, keep up the good work.

    • Sara Cotner

      Jennifer! It’s so amazing to me that we have been connected for more than 10 years! Thank you for chiming in. I find that the “poor-but-privileged background” is a tricky one. There’s a part of me that is so self-protective (like a scrappy dog) because of my childhood trauma. It makes it harder to pass on opportunities or privileges because I’m so used to trying to take care of myself and do my very best.

  • C. Lenfert

    Sara, yes, also thanks for your reflections about the parenting article. White supremacy is the default, its the waters that all of us – white folks and people of color – swim in everyday. And it continues to exist because of what you exactly describe – we don’t name it and work to dismantle it. Thanks for your reflections.

    • Sara Cotner

      Thank you! Yes, water is an apt metaphor. White people must not only name it; we must use it to help advantage People of Color.

  • Tina

    People don’t mention their privilege because they are not always aware of it! Unless ones sees/hears experiences of people from the other end of the spectrum (without that specific privilege), it’s really hard to know. Plus it is a fairly new concept/requirement of “having” to acknowledge it every time you talk about any type of success. I personally always much rather hear what problems other people overcame and how, than what problems they didn’t have to face. It’s just more inspiring. The latter (focusing on privilege) could often be very discouraging. For example if they started from a more privileged position than I am, why even bother trying??? As opposed to “they overcame this problems so I could too”.

    • Sara Cotner

      I think I understand what you’re saying, Tina. I still find the overall article interesting/helpful; it just felt irresponsible to write an entire article that makes it sound like parenting strategies were the sole thing leading to the success of these women without at least mentioning the way that white privilege plays out. Does that make sense?

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