Reiki: How My Session Went for Me
The other week, I mentioned that I was suddenly inspired to try reiki. At the time, I didn’t know much about it. But I booked an appointment and went for it! I am really craving more connection with my body. I also want to promote healing.
This year has been really hard. I imagine it has been hard for you, too?
Trying to run a school during a pandemic is no joke. And when I have to lean in hard at work, my family life suffers and Henry’s behavior escalates. And then we had a heart-wrenching tragedy at the school.
The first part of the reiki appointment felt like a therapy session. She asked what brought me in. I started by explaining my childhood trauma. Then I moved into the trauma I created for myself by launching a school with a 1 year-old and a 3 year-old. And then I finished up by talking about what kind of stress I have been experiencing during the pandemic.
The second part of the appointment was kind of like a massage but without the massage. I got on a heated table (fully clothed). She put a pillow under my knees and covered my eyes. She played relaxing music in the background. And then she just put her hands on me. She held them in the same spot for a long time. In total, I think she moved to three different spots.
During that time, I felt like started to fall asleep but then my body would pull itself back into consciousness. At one point, I felt an unusual flood of something (energy?) through my body. It even went into my nose and nearly made me sneeze.
Afterwards, she took several minutes to write down a ton of notes. Next, she asked me if I wanted to talk through what she saw while she was doing reiki. I said yes, thinking that it was going to be like the kind of debrief you get at the masseuse. In other words, I thought she was going to talk about tension in my body, etc.
Instead, I realized that while she was putting her hands on my body, she was actually visualizing herself going into my body. She described “going” to different places in my body. For example, she described going into hip area, my solar plexus, etc.
She then shared all the really sad things she saw in my body! First, she saw me as a little girl sitting in the rain on a street corner sobbing. She described going up to me and asking what I needed. I said I needed a warm coat.
Then she went somewhere else and saw a pendulum knife thing slicing through my heart. She heard me saying that my mom was hurting me because she said she was done with me and through with me.
Then we were in a desert in the Middle East down in a pit with stairs. She saw me climb out of the pit into a golden city with domes. But the golden city had a film over it. She said the film was there to protect me but it’s actually trapping me and everyone else in my life.
Finally, she described going to my womb. She said it was like a “volcano” in there, so she just put some water on it and left. I shared that I was menstruating, and she asked, “Are your periods really heavy?” I explained that I have one really heavy day, and it happened to be that day.
Whoa! I was impressed with her intuition.
She said I should just enjoy the rest of the day but that after that I should reflect on what she saw and what it might mean to me.
The image of the pit, golden city, and protective film made so much sense. My therapist talked to me a couple years ago about how the attachment issues I had in my childhood could have easily led me into drug addiction or alcoholism. I got lucky and instead developed coping mechanisms involving self-control and self-discipline. I protect myself from chaos and uncertainty by driving my own life forward. But being too self-controlled and too self-disciplined takes its toll on me. It prevents me from connecting with my most pure and authentic Self.
I’m working on it!
I’ll be going back for more reiki in two weeks. The more I can do to process my feelings, relax, strengthen my nervous system—the better. I’ll also be going for a regular massage soon for the first time in more than a year. I’m looking forward to it!