My Parenting Meditation: What I’m Trying

Now that my job situation is more under control (after more than 8 years!) I’m shifting my focus to my parenting. I’m reading lots of books and trying to stay grounded.

There are so many reasons why parenting is super-hard for me, in particular! First, I like the destination more than the journey. (And parenting is all journey!). Second, I like to sculpt and control things to optimize the outcome. And parenting is more about watering seeds—seeds that grow into whatever they were destined to be (not determined by me).

I searched for parenting meditations on my free meditation app (Insight Timer) but wasn’t too jazzed about the options. I decided to create my own. It was a fun thing to learn how to do. Please don’t judge my first attempt to harshly! It was SO HARD to know what kind of voice to use, how quickly to talk, etc. And I recorded it in the closet in a super-uncomfortable position so that didn’t help either.

Anyway, if you’re interested, you can listen to it here. The text is pasted below.

Welcome to the Parenting with Purpose Meditation. I’m your guide, Sara Cotner from FeedingTheSoil.com.

Allow yourself to find your most comfortable position. Elongate your spine. Relax along your jaw, your eyebrows. Let your tongue fall away from the roof of your mouth. Allow your shoulders to melt down. Start noticing your breath. Allow your neck to grow long. Start imagining energy moving into and flowing through your body.

Focus on my words as you let all other thoughts, worries or ideas pass through your mind like clouds on a windy day.

Dear Self,

I am proud of you for committing to the lifelong work of shepherding the next round of souls into and through the world.

And work it is. On a daily basis, you are called to take the higher ground again and again. You are called to sink yourself in the present moment. You are called to unearth and set aside your own fears, your past hurts, your current worries to sit side by side with young people to soothe their fears, their hurts, and their worries.

You give up former pieces of your self, and you gain new pieces.

You are pushed to bring your best self to every interaction. It makes sense that it’s difficult and exhausting and daunting and downright impossible on some days.

It’s easy to focus more on the times you don’t get it right rather than the times you do. You are a good mother. You show up for your children. You are there with a laugh, a smile, a snack, a kiss on the cheek, a band-aid, a fuzzy blanket tucked up under their chins.

When you make a mistake—which we all do—you are learning how to repair it. And modeling that it’s normal to make mistakes does more for your children than you can even imagine.

Please ground yourself in these truths each day:

1. I have so much to learn from my children. Their individual struggles and our collective struggles show me what I need to confront in my myself. They show me what I need to heal in myself.
2. When I am activated, I respond with curiosity and an eagerness to reconnect with my inner child to assure her that she is safe. She is loved. She is seen. I lean in to listen to what she is trying to tell me.
3. There is so much beauty within my children. The more I see it, name it, and celebrate it, the more we all feel the beauty.
4. There’s no such thing as doing it perfectly. My missteps are opportunities for my children to embrace their own missteps—for them to see what it looks like to reflect on your actions. To repair relationships and to give yourself grace.
5. I cannot control who my children grow into. They are sovereign beings. They were planted in my life. It is my job to provide water, sunlight, and nurturing. But what they grow into is up to them.
6. Everything will be okay. I need not worry whether my children are learning enough or doing enough or evolving enough. My focus is on me and how I am showing up for my children.
7. And just as I will focus more on the beauty in my children and their interactions, I will focus more on the beauty in myself.

To my children: Thank you for sharing your selves with me. It is such a gift to unwrap new parts of you each year as you grow and reach higher and higher toward the light. You give to me as much as I give to you. Thank you for challenging me to live into the best version of myself—to heal my old wounds so I can show up for you with presence, fullness, and groundedness.

I am eternally grateful for you.