Modern Parenting Meditation: What I’m Trying
I read a lot about the increasing rates of anxiety in children and how parents are trying too hard to shape their children. It’s so easy for me to fall into these traps because of my own need to control, my tendency to look at life as one big project, and the insecurity I feel about my children being a reflection of me. I’ve been turning around the idea of a modern parenting meditation in my head for a while.
Matt has been getting really into meditation lately. He listens to all sorts of audiobooks about it. He was explaining that one of the lectures he listened to talked about the need to set an intention before your meditation.
After that conversation, we were talking about the struggles we are having with our children, as well as the celebrations. It was such a reminder to put the two things together, always. We shouldn’t talk about the struggles without the celebration. We should approach parenting with a broader perspective about how it’s all going to shake out across a longer span of time.
Modern Parenting Meditation
These are the things I want to think about when I’m thinking about my children:
- Who are you telling me you are?
- What is beautiful about who you are? Now?
- What is beautiful about how who you are might play out in the future?
- How can I help you be who you are? Now? And in the future?
- What are you telling me you need?
- What are you telling me you need from me specifically?
- How can I be what you need?
2 Comments
Carissa
Oh, I’m on this same journey, and this resonates with me. Our oldest child who is five has mild developmental delays, anxiety, and sensory processing disorder. And he is the most sweet, loving child with the largest heart in the world. While making sure he gets the science-based therapy and support he deserves, I’m always doing my best (and often struggling at) to challenge any of my negative thinking of where he is ‘suppose to be.’ He is our boy and he is who he is. I don’t want to hold expectations of him that don’t serve him or us well and were set by the capitalist waters we all swim in each day.
And I’ve also started getting into meditation the last 9 months and have found it so beneficial for me – able to more present, patient, and loving parent, colleague, sibling, friend. I’m happy Matt also finds it beneficial.
And I’ve recently started introducing a meditation ‘game’ for my children, age 2 and 5. They sit and close their eyes while I say the word ‘frog’ over and over again. Then, when I say ‘fly’ instead of ‘frog’ they hop off and pretend to catch the fly in their mouth. And each time we do it I’m trying to spread out the length to which I can say ‘frog’ and have them sit quiet. I’m excited to see how well it goes after we keep it for awhile. They seem to like it so far!
Sara Cotner
Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, Carissa! Yes, they are who they are. And they are exactly how they need to be.
And your meditation game sounds adorable (and useful!). Wishing you the very best on your journey.